about us
We’re Mish and Rob,
and we’re on a
mission to help
businesses discover
their greatness and win their
dream customers.
To be honest, we’re only doing it to save our marriage.
Trouble is, looking at bad business copy puts us in such a foul mood we start sniping at each other. One too many lame clichés or labored passages of jargon, and before you know it the dinner’s in the dog and sex is off the menu for the rest of the week.
So we’re working through the problem, one business at a time – it’s our own form of relationship counseling.
FAQs
What does the name “Mortified Cow” come from?
We have no damn clue – we just plucked it completely out of the air one day. You’ve got to worry about the contents of our subconscious, really.
Why on earth did you think “Mortified Cow” would be a good name for a business?
Because – despite the lack of hilarious backstory – the name says something important about us.
To a lot of people, it says “We’re not serious enough for your Very Important Business. Go over there and talk to Platinum Corporate Solutions instead.”
But to a few other people – the ones we want to work with – it says “We’re going to write something that really puts across the excitement and uniqueness of your business – and we’re going to have fun doing it.”
What sorts of writing services do you offer?
Website text
Automated email sequences
Sign-up incentives
Marketing materials (brochures, flyers, etc.)
Sales pages
Business video scripts
And more! If you have a business need for it, we can probably write it for you
Your website text is fun ‘n’ all, but I want something a bit more serious for my own site. Can you manage that?
Good gosh yes! Before we start writing for a new client, we spend a lot of time getting to understand your business and the personality you want it to have. Every business is unique, and every business has its own distinctive personality.
How do I know you’re any good?
Fair point. Here are two ways to find out:
 Read our new book, May I Have Your Attention, Please?   – it should reassure you that we know what we’re talking about (and it includes examples galore of our work for other clients).
 Contact us for testimonials and case studies.
Say I want to work with you… what do I do next?